


rewind

by influtteringprint



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 01:58:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3510971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/influtteringprint/pseuds/influtteringprint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>kai and jinora's love story, through the years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	rewind

The smell of burning incense fills the room, caresses the soft yellow of her bedsheets, burrows into the grains of her wooden floors. Her tattoo is disguised under her head of grey hair as she bows, her eyes shut, her body still. Smoke rises from the burning end of the stick as she places it back in its place, bows her head and shifts backwards.

She takes a steadying breath.

‘How are you today, Kai?’ she asks, softly, because she knows that walls have ears and these words are for one man alone. ‘Meelo says he’s expecting a new grandchild. He says Rahna’s pregnant again, can you believe it? That makes five. I wonder how he’ll keep up, his grandkids are all just as energetic as he used to be, and benders, all of them.’

Silence meets her words, clasps hands with them and draws them away. Jinora clears her throat, looks at her wrinkled palms and gathers up the cloth of her skirt in them.

‘Our kids are fine, by the way. I hear Lau’s finally met someone, and Fei’s brewing up quite a storm in Republic City. Some of the air acolytes think she’s a favourite for president,’ her words move in a gentle upwards spiral, and without realising it, a smile has tugged up a corner of her lips.

She brings her fingers up to her mouth.

She really shouldn’t be surprised. After all – her smiles always came easiest whenever she was with him, talking to him the way she is now.

Even though she knows he won’t talk back.

A tear slides down her cheek, and she wipes it away in silence.

‘But enough about what’s going on with us. How have you been? How are things on the other side of the spirit veil?’ she asks, and though she struggles to keep her tone light, she doesn’t let it show. Her words flow like air – without interruption, without restriction. They dodge past the rough patches of emotion that catch in her throat, tiptoe effortlessly on the line that makes her sound like she’s okay. 

‘Ikki keeps telling me I should just go over there and find you myself, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that, yet. I know crossing over completely has been done before and it wouldn’t hurt, but… I can’t.’

The tears flow more freely now, and Jinora pulls a handkerchief out to wipe at her face.

‘I miss you, Kai,’ and her voice is brittle now, trembling on every syllable. A loud sob escapes her, and she buries her face in her palms.

‘I know it’s been years since you’ve gone, but I can’t – I can’t seem to let you go yet. I’m still… I just, I still can’t believe that you’re gone.’

A few more sobs escape her, and a minute later, she smiles.

‘Look at me,’ says Jinora, a small laugh filtering through the air as she swipes at her eyes again. ‘A little old lady crying in front of a picture of her dead husband, all by herself. You must think I’m crazy.’

She presses her lips together, lets her gaze fall to the slats on her wooden floor.

‘But that doesn’t matter. You loved me anyway, right?’ she asks, and an air of calm surrounds her, keeps her in its hold as she gathers up the next few words that spill from her tongue. ‘Annoying, bossy, crazily-talking-to-herself-Jinora… You loved me anyway. You did.’

A strand of her falls loose of her bun, and wrinkled fingers reach up to tuck it back.

‘I want to say thank you to you, for all those years, for all those memories, for our family, for the love… But I can’t. Saying thank you feels so much like saying goodbye, and I’ve already told you. I’m not ready to say goodbye yet, I’m just – I’m not.’

Silence congeals in the room and Jinora lets it settle. She sighs.

‘Maybe I’m just… Being stupid. Talking to you like this, feeling like this when I’m alone. Maybe Ikki’s right, and I should just. You know. Stop. Stop doing all this. Just – ’ Her words push her to her feet, and she begins to turn away, maybe put the photo of her dead husband face down, but once she reaches out to touch the frame – she stops.

A different kind of heaviness tugs at her heartstrings.

Who’s she kidding.

She can’t do this.

She lets her fingers trail along the edge of the frame, feels the bumps all along it. An idea crosses her mind and she sits back down, clears her head, straightens her back, and takes a deep breath.

She hasn’t tried this in ages, but there’s no reason why that should stop her now.

She relaxes.

‘Or maybe I’m just waiting to hear your voice again.’

The light grows and grows and grows, and Jinora smiles.

She’s doing it.

‘Kai,’ she says.

‘Speak to me.’


End file.
